What Happens in Vegas...ehhh, screw that...

Well, I did it. I went to Vegas for the first time and it was...something. I would have written about it yesterday but I was still recovering from a two day hangover and had to take three naps. Anyway, my dear friend Lauren is getting married in February and we went to celebrate her Bachelorette party. And boy, did we.

Apparently, oxygen is pumped into the casinos so you can stay awake and keep drinking...and drinking...and drinking...like I did until 6am. But let me back it up a bit. I think I mentioned last week that I tried to squeeze my ass into some jeans and they ripped on the way up sending me into my first real crisis of 2012 and a major detox. Yes, I actually thought I could go to Vegas and stay on a detox without alcohol or fried snacky crap. Alas, the SECOND Vegas came into view, I threw the no drinking phase of my detox out the window but decided that I'd still keep up with my cranberry water and my clean eating. Until about 4:30 am I kept up with my water (the only reason I think I'm still alive to type this) and even opted out of the 5 am breakfast that everyone indulged in. But then, suddenly it was 11am, I'd been asleep for about 5 hours and I woke up and stood so fast I blacked out and had to sit on the floor. Tunnel vision then ensued for a good ten minutes and nasty cold sweats, as my body attempted to save itself from the poison that coursed through it. And that's when I realized, YOU CANNOT EAT LIKE A BUNNY IN VEGAS. You must carbo load like you're about to run a marathon. I was ravenous. Within 5 1/2 minutes I consumed all of the snacks I had passed up the night before including: 2 Gatorade's, 3 Nutri Grain bars, 1/2 gallon of goldfish, 1/4 a bag of salt and vinegar Kettle chips, and a little over 1/2 the box of Nilla Wafers (which, by the way, ARE DELICIOUS, I'd forgotten). I sat there in a coma, completely shocked at what had just happened. Never in my life have I had my body take over and force feed itself in order to save its life like that. Needless to say, I promptly passed out after my binge and left Vegas that night. (How on earth can one stay for more than one??)

OH YEAH, I also tried to gamble. I bought in $20 at a $5 table and 4 minutes later I'd lost it all. I got pissed, had to be talked down by new friend Stephanie and reminded that it wasn't my party and that I needed to shape up. So...I kind of did, but not before muttering how much I hated Vegas and games. Twas the end of my gambling days I believe. Overall though, Vegas is AWESOME. It's not real. It's adult Disneyland and somehow, even though I probably could have checked myself into the ER for alcohol poisoning, I can't wait to go back.