Subway Stalkers

If you think you’re inconspicuously staring at a fellow subway passenger, chances are the person you’re looking at is thinking “stoplookingatme stoplookingatme stoplookingatme”. Really though, we all know what it’s like when you just want to get back to your apartment without any human interaction on the way. When the thought of talking to anyone makes you want to throw up. When you seriously contemplate drop kicking the next person who accidentally brushes against your elbow. Have the decency to realize that if you’ve been staring at a person for at least 45 seconds and they haven’t acknowledged you with even a quick glance they DO NOT want to talk to you and obviously want to be left alone. So, get over your giant ego and let it go. Don’t continue staring, don’t ask what they’re reading, don’t even comment on their lovely rain boots. Trust me, there is no good jumping off point for a conversation that is bound to turn into a boring, life-sucking exchange that will probably leave both parties feeling worse, if not, really awkward afterwards. Save it for the bar when at least there’s other people and alcohol as a distraction...and excuse. Don’t trap people on the train, it’s just shitty.

Written 12/1/06