Sanitized

Living in a big city during the threat of a pandemic is quite interesting. Not that New Yorkers are ever warm and cuddly, but the added sense of sterility and coldness to one's fellow man is bordering on hysterical. At Duane Reade the other day, I saw two people fighting (while covering their mouths and keeping a safe distance from one another) over the last mini-bottle of hand sanitizer. Riding the train home two nights ago, I sat next to a woman who got up and huffed a robust "Awww HELL no" when a fellow passenger coughed behind us. My boss has installed so much antibacterial soap in our restaurant that I'm beginning to feel like an obsessive compulsive germophobe (germAphobe? germIphobe? hmmmm). Anyway, my hands are close to bleeding, I've washed them so much...that's a lie.

Swine flu has infiltrated my psyche so intensely I've begun to dream about it. Two nights ago I went to Mexico and spent a restless 8 hours freaking out about ice cubes in drinks and public restrooms. I woke up very stressed. Here's my question though... Does ANYBODY actually know ANYONE who actually HAS swine flu or bird flu or sars or anthrax or [insert pandemic of the day]? I'd love to know. Until I get to the bottom of this though, I'm going to be a good CNN viewer and continue washing my hands raw and tossing and turning my way through to the end of this nightmare.