Shit on my face...

I find it increasingly interesting that I continue to find these little black specks on my face when I get to work in the morning. Of course I usually never discover them until a few hours after I’ve had ample human interaction and am positive that most people have wondered, as I do, what in the hell the black specks could be. Old flaky mascara I assumed, but alas, I bought a new wand and still the dots appear. Maybe eye shadow or eyeliner…something that goes on my eye, again, no, I make sure to apply my makeup cleanly, I use a Q-tip for touch up and everything. The only possible conclusion left is that the black specks are none other than the dead gnats implanted on my face due to the absurdly quick pace of foot we are all forced to keep up with in this city. The speed also accounts for the sexy calves I’m developing without even really trying.