The Starter
I haven’t started my starter.
But I’ve done my reading (of only one recipe, I didn’t want to fall into a rabbit hole and confuse myself) and from what I can tell, this starter business is extraordinarily simple. Two ingredients, flour and water. Mix them together, let them get used to one another and soon they begin to grow as one alive being. It bubbles and froths and demands to be fed, it smells and forms a layer to be discarded and then it grows again and needs more food. You keep scraping off its ugly parts, feeding and letting it grow and eventually you have a happy and thriving starter who will birth countless breads and rolls and biscuits and become your most prized possession. (from what I hear)
I think I am a starter.
I began this year as one person, recently added a new version, have been feeding myself daily with meditation and rest, kindness and a gentle day to day life, have bubbled and frothed, had to discard much of my old, ugly smelly parts to make room for new healthy bubbles. I’ve continued to repeat the process, day after day and now I am a healthy starter fit to be added to the birth of new projects. I feel more creative than I have in years. Genuine, deep-down inspiration that is exceedingly exciting and also deeply satisfying, like making a pot from Georgia red clay after a creek walk when I was 8. Or making my loved ones Christmas presents. Or receiving a really, REALLY thoughtful gift. Inspiration’s filling me up. I’m bubbling over. Use my discard for cinnamon rolls! (That’s a sourdough joke…)
Lately, I’ve felt an undeniable heart call for nature and for a slower pace of life and a few days ago, some dear old friends who live on a farm and run a beautiful, sustainable, slow living brand called Lady Farmer, asked me to come produce and direct some videos for their YouTube channel. It’s been an enlightening revelation to me about what it means to really listen to the call of your heart. Your own heart that speaks to you clearly and honestly because it doesn’t know any other way. The words that come from truth, not from ideas of what you ‘should’ want, what you ‘need’ to be happy. Letting it sing out and echo back in the most unexpected ways, bringing more inspiration and gratitude than you knew you could feel.
It’s an incredible experience.
When I’ve sensed the pull towards shame for feeling good when the world seems so bad, I’ve reminded myself that the struggle and the guilt are all part of the miserable system at work. The system that keeps us at war with one another and mostly with ourselves. The nasty, grimy parts that have to be discarded to make room for living, breathing beautiful gifts.
I believe freedom arrives when we think for ourselves. Truly THINK. For ourselves. What is your heart calling for? Your heart cleared of the mucky layers that have grown out of control after years of conditioning designed to make us believe we will never be enough without _____. Conditioning that has distracted us from what really matters. Our own well-being. This careful tending of Self will cause you to grow and eventually bubble over and spill onto everyone around you. You’ll be a bliss factory and the only things you’ll need are you and your willingness to listen to your truth.
I want to plant some seeds. Tend some soil. Know where everything I consume comes from. Understand myself more. I want to live gently, grounded in the present moment amongst people who mutually love and support one another. I don’t want to struggle anymore. I want to heal and help heal the Earth. I want this for us all.
Remember, you only need two ingredients for a starter.
Love,
Brittany
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