It's Bloomin' Over

You'd think...well I'd think, that working in a flower shop would be (next to Disney) one of the happiest places on Earth to be employed. But, as I'm sure Goofy gets sick of smelling his own farts being trapped inside his costume all day, so do I get tired of being surrounded by buds. Alas, I will be leaving my job at Flowers of the World after SIX MONTHS of employment. Phew, it's a been a long, winding road, certainly the longest I've ever worked in one place, and since I apparently become nostalgic at every turning point in my life, here are the lessons I take away from my job as flower shop wench.

LESSON #1: When cheating on your wife, don't use her credit card to buy your girlfriend a $300 birthday arrangement.

LESSON #2: Should your wife call the flower shop where you used her credit card to send your girlfriend $300 worth of flowers, be prepared to call said shop and have your girlfriend's flowers sent to your wife instead of your infidelity... immediately!

LESSON #3: When going through a divorce on Wall Street, a great way to get back at your soon to be ex-wife is to secretly call the flower shop that provides your weekly entry hall and dining room arrangements and have them cancel all future deliveries and instructed to leave the dead flowers in the apartment.

LESSON #4: If you'd like to get back at your soon to be ex-husband for ordering dead flowers be left in your apartment, make sure he knows that your 20 year junior boyfriend is replacing them with beautiful live flowers...from the same shop.

LESSON #5: Leaving your name off of a card that reads "Your hair is brown like mahogany, I cannot get your porcelain face out of my mind. Can't wait to see you again soon" is very creepy and will most likely result in the recipient's refusal to accept the flowers on which you probably spent a good chunk of change.

LESSON #6: "I Fell Into Burning Ring of Fire" is a great ring-back tone for a man currently cheating on his wife.

LESSON #7: Flowers die.

I've learned a lot over the past 6 months and I'm sure the lessons I take away from my experience here will benefit me for the rest of my life. Not only do I feel more equipped to handle a relationship, I've also become an expert googler, I've been the first to know when anyone breaks up or gets engaged since I've spent at least 3 hours a day on facebook, and I look really cool in Whole Foods when I'm picking out flowers. I'm really going to miss this place. That's a lie.


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