Making sure the horse is dead...

So I realize I've beat the shit out of the topic of shit, but I have to point out just one more observation I made this morning. I work now at a little flower shop downtown in the Financial District, it sounds a lot more romantic than it actually is, but since I get such pleasure from declaring it, I'll probably stay here for a time. From my seat I can look out the window. There's nothing remarkable about my view but I do enjoy seeing the same people walk by every morning on their way Au Bon Pain and Starbucks. One guy gets a venti every morning then stands by the parking meter to smoke a cigarette and talk on his phone. Again, there's nothing special about his routine, it's special simply because it is his routine and now my routine to watch his routine. There are also several dog walkers that come by daily. New York, as you know, does not provide a lot of grassy knolls or bushes, mulch and ivy, for a pooch to privately relieve himself. I cannot express to you how excruciating it is to catch that mug of humiliation worn by the exposed city dogs. And I say that as an honest observer, even if I didn't love dogs, even if I loathed all four legged creatures, I would still be able to look at a pooch's face mid stream and identify the look of shame. Aside from the dogs' feelings, I thought today, as I watched a man perform the ultimate act of puppy love, how truly disgusting it is to have to actually pick up poop...with your hand. Now, I realize the hand is covered in a plastic bag to protect from germs and parasites, but that shit ain't thick (i'm talking about the bag) you can still, like, feel the poop... I've seen this happen dozens of times, but something about watching it from the comfort of my little flower shop seat got to me today. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather watch someone pick up their dog's shit than find it myself on the bottom of my shoe, I guess I just can't get over the actual act of it. And so I've decided that until I can train my dog to poop in a toilet, I probably just shouldn't have one, as sad and as lonely as this makes me.


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