Scared Shitlesss...literally... well not literally, but that would be pretty funny.

I admit that I am a weak minded person when it comes to scary movies. I don't care how ridiculous or unbelievable the film(see Urban Legends 2, yes I crapped my pants) I will leave the theater irreparably scarred. I'm still reeling from Piranhas and I caught only the tail end of that summer camp atrocity of a movie let's saaay, wow, 15 years ago. Or Trolls... I only saw half of that as well, couldn't eat Thanksgiving dinner (a tribute to HOW disgusting that flick really was, I was a fat kid...) and I still remember that nasty needle ring thingy the troll used to turn people into giant turds. Let me take you now to last weekend when I, for God knows what reason, agreed to see...I'm not sure I can even say it... 28 Weeks Later. Phew, my chest just tightened up and my eyes are watering. I don't know why in the hell I thought I could handle this movie considering that I still have nightmares about the first one, I really do. When approached with the idea of seeing a scary movie something in me (or maybe it's just manipulative friends) blocks the fact that I hate hate hate being scared and convinces me that "nooo this'll be fun". NOT FUN. No. I spent the walk home after the movie on the verge of tears contemplating genocide in Darfur and the atrocities of slavery (I don't know what these issues have to do with 28 Weeks Later, but this is how I am effected by scary movies) Not only did I spend the night in stunned silence and fear, I was really fucking angry that I had put myself through that. Here's what I don't get: Why? Really, WHY would anyone want to see people vomiting blood and pushing people's eyeballs into the backs of their own heads? It's gross and inhuman and I just don't get it. Some people love scary movies, most of my best friends being among them. I just want to say this, I do not get you people and yes, I am judging you... all of you masochistic crazy asses who get off on violent and disgusting human acts that no one should have to fill their minds with ever. You are all crazy.

I apologize for losing my temper.

But, really no one ever ask me again to see a scary movie. I really really hate them.

Also, a Lindsay Lohan impersonator just walked into my office. She looked kind of like a ghost. I really thought it was Lindsay for a second. My chest tightened up, I got scared, and then I realized it was just some crazy intern from Harper's Bazaar with fake lips and a spray on tan. Awkward.


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