Picky hobo, Tricks are for...Hos.


A few nights ago a man got on the train and gave me and all the other ladies a rose. "How nice," I thought, "New York is such a wonderful city." The man then announced that he would be taking donations for the flowers. "Hmmmm," I thought, "Alright, I suppose that's valid," and I handed him a dollar. He looked at my donation, looked at me, and said very matter of factly, "It's a $5 minimum." I was confused. "You said donation," I uttered. "Yeah, $5," he replied. I was appalled and pissed. Come on. Who in their right mind would pay $5 for a freaking flower. Jeez. I took my dollar back and angrily handed him back his stupid rose. This incident reminded me of a time a few years back when I had just moved here. Standing outside of a Wendy's having just taken massive amounts of fries and frosty to my face, I was approached by the saddest looking boy I'd ever seen. "Hi, I'm 16 and I ran away from home and I'm starving. Can you help me?" he uttered. How could I resist? I'm NOT made of stone. I gave him $2, which is all I had left after my Wendy's excursion. He looked at the $2 and then back at me and said, "Hey, I'm a vegetarian though and falafel costs at least $4." Well, I'm 25 and broker than balls so suck it up and eat some Wendy's fries. Nevertheless, I gave him an extra dollar and told him good luck. Yeah, I'm a sucker for young runaways. Funnily enough, I was approached by the same homeless vegetarian two times after this and he didn't remember me or my generosity which REALLY upset me. I'm obviously still getting over it.

All in all, I think that what can be said for both of these situations is "know what you want and don't stop until you get it." Keep on dreaming, folks.

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